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 Real or Imaginary

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Alice Creed
Next Big Thing

Posts : 76
SWE Points! : 93
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2011-10-24
SWE Status : I'm a screamer!

PostSubject: Real or Imaginary    Thu Nov 10, 2011 6:38 pm

Alice Creed
Las Vegas, NV Airport
9:13 PM August 7th, 2011

Pew! Pew – Pew!! Pyoo Pyoo Pew!! Pew!!

With cat like reflexes and ninja like agility Alice Creed jumped behind the airport terminal seats to evade little Johnny’s imaginary laser beams from incinerating her.

Pyoo Pyoo Pew!! Pew!!

Little Johnny stopped firing as he whirled in between rows looking for the ever elusive Alice.

“Mommy mommy did you see where she went?” Little Johnny yelled back at her mother fumbling through her purse in attempt to find their misplaced tickets. “No hun, I didn’t”, she replied without even looking up from her contents. “Hmmmm”, little Johnny pondered to himself , scratching his non-existant stubble upon his chin with the finger that doubled as a laser beam gun.

“REACH FOR THE SKY!!!” Creed appeared from behind with her hands pointed in a gun shape directly at the little Johnny’s head and a huge grin on her face. Startled, the poor kid’s hand came up in a peaceful gesture above his head.

“Now, it appears to me that there isn’t enough room in this here airport terminal for the both of us so I reckon if you walk away I’ll walk away, agreed?” Alice Creed attempted to say in her best cowboy accent that she could muster up without sounding completely foolish. Little Johnny shook his head, notched his invisible laser gun in his imaginary holster and took a few steps. Seeing Johnny accept her demands Alice too holstered her invisible laser shooter only to met with the betrayals of betrayals. Seeing an opening, Little Johnny swiftly turned around and shot Alice Creed dead square in the chest with his pointer finger.


Alice Creed stumbled a few paces back while managing to give a shock and awe look in Little Johnny’s general direction. She looked down at her chest and pressed her hand over her heart to see the imaginary blood stain her hand before ultimately falling on her knees and face first onto the dully patterned airport carpet.

“Mommy, mommy I got her! I got her good! Look! See! See! I got her!”

She continued to lay motionless on the terminal’s carpet with her tongue sticking out and a slight smile on his face. If one didn’t witness this playful event go down you might have thought that Alice was actually hurt. Her face sheltered some brusies left over from the chair shot she acceidently gave herself and it's always an awkward scene walking in public places when it’s been clear that you’ve recently been in a fight. The stares from public officials, pedestrians and security guards are always a bit unnerving but over time you learn to laugh it off deep down inside. Most of the times they took pity on you when they convinced themselves you’re some poor housewife that’s been a victim of domestic violence and you’re simply at the airport to get away from you’re abusive spouse.

"Now boarding for Portland, flight 32213 at gate C5. We ask please if you would have your boarding passes ready and approach the gate when your zone is called. Now boarding senior citizens, anyone with physical disabilities, those with small children and Zone A passengers," chimed the speakers

Alice Creed looked up to see the kid staring at her with a slightly worried look on her face. “I told you already lets go Johnny!”

“I’M COMING!” Little Johnny shouted back before cocking his finger back and shooting Alice once more but this time in head for good measure.


Alice grabbed his finger and began twisting it in a way it shouldn’t twist.

“OW! OW! OW!”

“…you should have just walked away slowly…but no, you had to go and shoot me dead didn’t you?”

This time it was the kid who dropped to his knees with a refuge of pain spread across his face. Tiny tears welled up in the corner of his eyes as his cheeks turned red and forehead became ruffled with crinkles.

“Unhand my son you monster!”

The mother snatched her son away from Alice Creed and slapped her square across the jaw. Creed’s face contorted and twisted as a result of the blunt force from physical contact made upon Alice’s mug. A trickle of blood dripped down from her slightly partly lips as she looked back and smiled slowly to the boy’s legal guardian. Looking into the eyes of the mother, Alice Creed couldn’t help but see CZ Thrust in her face.

“wha..why are you staring at me that way you crazy bitch?”

Those square aviator glasses…

“Mommy what’s wrong with her?” the kid tugged at his mother sleeve, “I dunno dear but let’s just back away slowly.”

That neatly trimmed mustache that sat just above his lips like an extremely hairy caterpillar just waiting to grow wings and fly away.

“Disgusting. You repulse me CZ Thrust.”

“C-CZ Who? Who is tha-”

Completely delusional, Alice Lou Thesz’d pressed Little Johnny’s mother in the middle of the airport, grabbed a handful of her auburn locks and repeatedly banged the mother’s head against the floor.


Alice Creed continued to assault the clueless parent as the crowd started to disperse. Some people took out their iphones and other gadgets to record the event and upload on twitter and youtube in a moment’s notice. Others simply covered their kids eyes or looked on in shock. No sooner than when the poor unsuspecting victim met her consciousness threshold security showed up and grabbed the kicking and screaming Alice Creed, yanking her off by holding on to her waist and pinning her against the floor to place restraints on her hands.


The security guard grabbed his radio and messaged to his patrol. “Suspect is in custody. She keeps babbling on about a certain CZ Thrust. I’m bringing her in now.”


Alice Creed flung her legs in the air as she jumped up and down in her restraints while being escorted through the terminal.
Security safely brought Alice Creed to the security office without much of a problem if you disregard that one security guard was kicked in the stomach, another one bitten on the hand the one directly behind her was nursing a busted and bloody nose after she headbutted him in the face. They handcuffed her to the chair as she continued to scream whimsical insults about how they were CZ’s agents and were out to get her.

The guard with the busted nose took her finger print and dumped the contents of her carry on luggage onto the wooden desk.

“Hmm, what do we have here? An ipod …" he slipped it into a plastic ziplock bag for evidence. "A college ruled notebook what I presume to be a diary," that too went into it’s separate ziplock bag just like all of her possessions. "Absolute Sandman Vol. 5 by Neil Gaiman, so you’re a reader are you? A pack of opened island flavored skittles and oh what’s this, risperiodone and olanzapine. Ma’am may I ask, why do you have antipsychotics drugs in your possession.”

“Oh I dunno, maybe because the doctors says I’m PSYCHOTIC! What? Do you think I’m a druggy or something?” She looked away and hissed under her teeth, “please…”

“Fair enough, to be quite honest with you Ms. Creed...”

“ALICE! It’s Alice Creed, no Ms.!”

“My apologizes Alice Creed, may I ask who this CZ Thrust character is?”

Alice sighed and took a moment before she spoke.

“He’s this guy, just this guy you know. SWE always puts me up against people I hate the most..”

“SWE is what exactly?”


An awkward moment ensued as silence fell between both the security and Alice Creed.

“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. CZ Thrust is this disgusting little perv - he resembles something of a Mexican worm who was breast fed liquid viagra straight from the bosom of a nymphomaniac prostitute. He thrust and thurst and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and quite simply nothing would please me more than to break both sides of his hips to end his thrusting days! Maybe cut off his ding ding dong, that’s what he calls it by the way, you know it... down there and after I cut it off make him choke on it. Nothing would make me happier and everyone can get a long like one big happy family! I used to have one of those you know.”

“Uh huh” the security guard nibbled at the edge of pen not sure on if he should believe her. “Well Ms. Creed-“


“Once more I apologize, Alice Creed, this CZ Thrust that has offended you so, is he real or imaginary?”

“What do you mean if he’s real or imaginary!? Of course he’s real!”

“I just have to ask because you do have these drugs here and you attacked an innocent women out there thinking she was CZ Thrust.”

“Innocent? INNOCENT?! Are you trying to tell me that she didn’t have a mustache that resembled a hairy caterpillar, tight jeans the color of fish stuffed inside a sardine can and a bulge in her crotch that she thrusted toward me as I tried to teach her son some manners! AND I’M THE ONE THAT THEY CALL CRAZY!? THE MOMENT YOU LET ME OUT OF THESE CUFFS CZ THRUST IS MINE! MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'M THE VICTIM! INNOCENT LADY MY BUTT!”

“I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation that you’re in Ms- I mean Alice Creed. You assaulted a lady in my airport. Charges could be pending! You could very well go to jail. Do you understand that?”

“ I don’t know what you’re talking about, I attacked CZ Thrust, not some lady. May I have those skittles sitting on the table?”

“We have witnesses that say they saw you, I saw you, my team saw you!”

“This so called lady you saw me attacking, was she real or imaginary?”

“You ARE loony – I’m getting your Dr. on the phone so we can settle this.”

The security guard grabbed the phone and started dialing digits on the keypad..

"Hello yes, who is it that I'm speaking to? Ahh good nice to hear from you Dr. Puttz, CW Putzz."

Although the security guard said CW Putzz, Alice heard CZ Thrust and once again went into a rage in the security office. When the rest of the security team came back from their rounds the security camera was destroyed and office obliterated with no sign of Alice Creed anywhere.
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