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 ST VIII: Acceptance

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Hana Brightly
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Posts : 153
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Join date : 2011-10-22
Location : Underneath an Umbrella
SWE Status : Shocked! @_@

PostSubject: ST VIII: Acceptance   Thu Nov 10, 2011 6:18 am


"I don't...know?" Hana Brightly's expression was both full of wandering and full of anguish as she sat in her swiveling computer chair, looking intently at the video camera sitting at top of her computer. Her make-up casually done, her hair fashioned cutely into one swaying ponytail off the side of her head, she pursed her lips and liked the tips as she leered away from her watching audience. Playing her hands, she cupped them together and began having a thumb-wrestling war with herself as her constant change of expression told her audience that she was troubling herself with a mental dilemma. "You could say I'm frustrated, but I don't necessarily feel the full extent of it. One week, I did the seemingly impossible. I felt for the first time in my life, the acceptance of a large group of people. People chanting my name, screaming motivations I've never heard in the entirety of my life. It was moving, heartfelt, and I can't express in words the honest sincerity I feel for all of you." Hana frames a heart with her hands and explodes it towards the streaming camera. Weakly smiling afterward, Hana then sighs and looks away from the camera again, something obviously bugging her. "I'm a dreamer. I always imagined a future for myself and others, sometimes myself with others. Never about monetary gain, or how it would be like to finally fly without the aid of an airplane, but instead dreams circulating around the idea of people finally being comfortable with themselves." A memory hits Hana Brightly home as smiles and sighs. "You make a friend, you learn about that friend, their silly quirks, they're nearly unbearable annoyances, but you know, deep down that they make you happy. Fill a metaphorical gap that constantly needs replenishing. You embrace them, learn their dreams, their aspirations, what they eventually see themselves becoming. They're grand, greater than your own, almost daunting, and from their dreams, you hope that you find the motivation to live out your own." Relaxing her shoulders, Hana Brightly focuses her attention back at the camera, tapping her fingers against the computer desk. She wanted to genuinely smile, give her growing audience something to smile about themselves, but she couldn't do it, her troubles bothering her to the point where she would have felt "fake" doing so. She hated that. Hana loathed the very notion of feeling "fake" to others, especially towards people she felt she had a connection with. "'Hana Brightly' used to be nothing be a dream, a representation of myself that I was afraid to adopt. It used to plague my mind, drive me mad knowing that the moment I opened my true eyes, that this glimpse at myself would be over, solely just existing within my whirling imagination. Truth be told, I've been the happiest I've ever been for the last five years of my life, but...at this moment, I'm suffering a variation of frustration."

Running a hand through her hair, disrupting the peacefulness that was once her day's hair fashion, Hana Brightly lets out a triumphant sigh. A sigh that made her watchers want to sigh themselves. Wearing a blue shirt adorned with miscellaneous emoticons, mostly all gleeful, Hana Brightly appeared to be anything but. Her eyes trying to find focus on anything but the streaming camera in front of her, Hana exposed an aura of uneasiness the longer she lingered between her last sentence. "There's a defining line between being called a "loser," and actually becoming one. I know that no competitor is absolutely perfect. No one wins all the time, nor does someone lose all the time, but the thought still lingers. All of you believed in me. I could feel all your hearts beating along with mine the moment I step into that ring. It's a beautiful thing, even poetic. But...I let all of you down." Holding a single hand over her heart, Hana begins to play with her collar, tangling her index finger along the brim, twirling it nervously. "Even with CZ Thrust raising my arm in victory alongside him, I felt nothing but ashamed for myself. I tried my best, my absolute best, but I wasn't proud of my performance. Dreams are cherished, they deserve to come into fruition. I'm afraid...I'm afraid that I can't live up to your expectations. It frustrates me. You honestly have no idea how much I wish I could hold your all your hands so we could live this dream together, so you can all feel the happiness I've felt for the last five years." It was five years ago that Hana Brightly first took her first serious steps into becoming herself, becoming her dream. The excitement was enthralling, and she honestly couldn't believe she was actually going to make herself become a reality. Every new sensation, every new day felt like she was putting on her first skirt over and over again, she absolutely loved it. "But I'm facing a champion next Showtime. A champion who showers himself with destiny. A champion that's in every bit, a better wrestler than I am. I know I can't beat him, I'm simply not worthy of even gracing the presence of a championship. That frustrates me. I want to be. I would love to be worthy, but Michael London is the newly crowned SWE Hardcore Champion. I wish I could be excited, this isn't an opportunity to take for granted, but if I couldn't beat CZ Thrust, then what exactly can I do? No one ever dreams of being a loser, but I surely feel like one that moment." Burying her head into her arms, Hana peppers quick fists onto the computer table, letting out just spurts of her growing uneasiness. Hana Brightly was convinced that she was just going to be enhancement talent for Michael London, just as she was against CZ Thrust. There was simply no avoiding it, her triple threat victory feeling like just a fluke. Looking back the camera, her chin now resting against the back of her folded hands, Hana Brightly questions her audience. "I understand how it feels to live vicariously through another person. To feel the pain they feel, to experience the love they experience, to taste the victories and defeats they taste, but do you want to feel, experience, and taste mine?"

Reading her chat box, a flurry of usernames response with positives, "Yes's" and "Of course's" and "You know it's" sprang life back into Hana Brightly's face as the messages were seemingly never ending. Hope fulfilling, she began to feel the excitement again, the same excitement she felt just two weeks ago when she gained her first and only victory for the company. She honestly couldn't believe it, just the idea of a large group of people supporting her felt so alien. Was this the magic that Violet Evans described? The support she felt whenever she leaped from behind the curtains with a flaming box of General Mills cereal? Feeling her eyes begin to swell, Hana's nose tingled. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Together we can aspire, tell our world that our dreams can transcend beyond our imaginations. While destiny controls the life our next opponent, perhaps ours shines brighter. Maybe, just maybe we're meant to achieve something more than just being ranked third on the Power Five. Go beyond what Michael London has achieved, and win a championship greater than the Hardcore one." Brightly paused, and covered her mouth. Before now she never imagined herself holding anything of importance, never saw herself gracefully stepping on history's anecdote. Just months ago, she was watching Violet Evans perform within a wrestling ring, but now Hana was a wrestler inside it. "By myself, I'm just Hana Brightly, a confused individual plagued by the expectations of others. Expectations not only that I seek, but expectations I've constantly struggled with. But together, our hearts intertwined, we could become more. Be the representation of a glorious success story, a iconic image people read about in history books. Your dreams, your hopes, not only will aspire me, encourage me to wrestle better than my absolute best, but hopefully encourage people like yourselves as well. Everyone should be allowed to feel this magic, everyone should feel the comfort of hope. In that ring, you may seem me struggle, see me shed tears of both misery and triumph, but know, and please realize that I'm not just doing it for myself, that I'm not doing it with selfish-intent, but that I'm doing it for you. For all of you." Hana Brightly points at the camera, a tear rolling down her cheek as the motivation of her chatters made her realize that a single loss wasn't the end of her wrestling experience. She was frustrated, angry at herself for not living to what she assumed were her fans expectations. Hana Brightly, up until moments ago felt like a huge let down, but now that feeling was gone, dispersed into the air as a genuine smile appeared on her face. Mouthing "I love you" Hana ended her stream, and swiveled in her chair in a complete 720.
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ST VIII: Acceptance
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